Monday, September 13, 2010

CASE CONFERENCE

The case conference involved Teacher SK, SW, PT~K, OT~M and ST~L.

It was a good meeting.  I had my thoughts and queries sorted out.

We talked about options and how we can best help Jonathan and finally concluded that HMP (Home Management Program) will be good for now considering his current situation.

Thanks to PT K, I also found out that I don't need to withdraw Jonathan from the school.  I could ask for a transfer to the HMP instead of "quitting" school directly.  That way, if I want to try Jonathan for the school program, it's easier for me to apply for a place.

It was a relief to hear that.  He's still got 5 years before he graduates and of course if I do get a chance, I would like to try again.

We talked about other things and was also given some advice by ST~L that was really good.

I'm grateful to his teachers and therapists who have helped in so many ways.  And I hope that while staying at home, there will come a day when his health will improve.

Jonathan was also invited to join his classmates whenever they have class outing so he will not lose touch with them.  That's really kind of the teachers.  But I have to try and convince him and get him on the buggy first!

Thanks to all my family and friends who prayed for us.  God bless you!

Sunday, September 12, 2010

I'VE MADE THE DECISION

Yup...I made the decision tonight.  I've decided to take Jonathan out of school and try the home management program.

I spoke to him this evening.  Asked if it was ok if he stopped school and the was "yes".

It was the 2nd hardest decision I had to make.  The first when we had to decide to let him have the feeding button.

Like I wrote to my friends in facebook ... I hope this decision will be a correct one.

I actually wanted to cancel tomorrow's meeting with the teacher.  Ever since I received the letter from the school Principal, my heart has been heavy.  I just felt that the letter (albeit the first paragraph about being of any assistance) could have been sent after the meeting and not before.  I guess the place for another student was top priority.  My initial idea was to sign the form and return it back.  But I still had questions I needed to ask.

I didn't have the peace to take Jonathan out of school.  Neither did I have the peace to bring him back.  I've tried (maybe not hard enough) to bring him back.  But it has been difficult.  So I decided to take the road less stress and I pray that God will give me the peace and strength to start something that's more constructive for Jonathan.

And maybe when he's more ready and I sort out his health issue (that has been bugging me for the last couple of years), I will register him for school again.

I've been tearing because somehow I feel that I've given up something for Jonathan that might benefit him.  But his health outweighs that.

And maybe after tomorrow's meeting I will feel better.  And bringing him out for walks at the beach or mall during school days will no longer be guilt trips :)

In the meantime, he's currently a chair and mat potato with the TV and YouTube.  And his answer to my question:

"Will you still be intelligent and smart even if you don't go to school?"

was "Yes."

Wednesday, September 08, 2010

SHOULD I WITHDRAW?

Received a letter from Jonathan's school principal today to asked if we would like to withdraw him with immediate effect from his school because he has been absent.  They needed the place for other students who are on the waiting list.

This came as a total surprise.  I guess it's got something to do with my consideration of putting him on Home Management Program.  We were going to have a meeting next week.  I guess I will have to call the social worker for clarification..

It brings a lot of guilt ...

I feel guilty that I have deprived Jonathan of school.
I feel guilty that I am not doing enough for him.
I feel guilty that if I do bring him back to school, his vomitting will start again.

My heart feels heavy.  I still want to keep trying to bring him to school.  But if someone else needs a place then my not bringing Jonathan will deprive someone of the opportunity.

Sad that it has to come to this.  Hopefully at the meeting next week we will be able to come up with something suitable for Jonathan.

FRINGE SCISSORS

I talked about this HERE.  And the scissors arrived yesterday (in good and excellent condition, thanks to Scrap-n-Crop.com!)

The sharp blades cut easily and evenly.  Not a heavy scissors so it's easy on the hands.  I tried it on thin foam and even though some didn't slit properly, I could still make this:

Used a thin piece of foam and twirled it around a pencil.

Monday, September 06, 2010

FEEDING BETTER

Yesterday morning I decided to "chong ah".  haha.

Well...I woke up in the morning, prayed and decided that I was going to give him 6 scoops of soy milk powder (the same amount as the goat milk) instead of just 4 as per instructed on the tin and also my self imposed 2.5hr feed in between.

He didn't gag.  Continued today and was ok only to be "threaten" by symptoms this evening.  But after letting him sit on his chair for more than an hour and 2 sachets of fluimucil, he was ok.

I'm currently giving him Isomil 1 Advance Eye Q Plus (0-6 months).  They have more nutrients than the Isomil 3 which is for 1-10 yr olds.  So far, his bowel movement is ok.  Doing it between 2-3 days.
This afternoon I faxed a letter to KK Nutrition and Dietetics.  Awaiting their reply.

A friend recommended Isocal, which is new to me.  If in any case Jonathan cannot take goat milk, I'll have to consider that.  She also shared with me about another friend whose children are taking probiotics as supplements.  They hardly fall sick.  Seems probiotics boost the immune system too. Will go check it out at health shops.

Sunday, September 05, 2010

PEACE AND REJOICE

I've been troubled by Jonathan's health.  Even with the soy milk, he sometimes will start gagging in the afternoon.  I guess I'm not feeding him enough to sustain his appetite.  I will have to call the dietitian at KK hospital.

Last night was the same problem.  He had secretion and started coughing and I felt terrible just seeing him gagging all the time.   We decided to take turns letting him sit on our laps so that he will not gag too much compared to lying on the mat and we didn't want to use the chair.  My heart was very heavy with worry and anxiety.  I just didn't want another episode of vomiting again.

So while H went to get dinner, I turned on the TV to distract myself and the travel program "Japan Hour" was on.  Sadly, that made me even more disheartened.  To know that there is such a beautiful place and we will never be able to explore.

Then I heard it...the beautiful background music that came with the scenery.  Softly at first, then gradually became louder.  Trying to remember what this song was, I realised it was "MY PEACE" without vocals.

I don't know if this music was composed by a Japanese but it was an old worship song that encouraged me many years ago.

My heart was lifted.  God spoke to me with that music on a secular channel.

"My peace I give unto ...it's a peace that the world cannot give ..."

Thank you Lord.  But He didn't stop there.

Whenever I put Jonathan down to bed, I will turn on my laptop to watch K dramas.  But last night, I just didn't have the mood and the Lord prompted me to watch a talk by Joyce Meyer.

The topic online was "HEART TEST".  The whole message was that whatever we are going through is a test that we will have learned a good lesson and be victorious towards the end.

The part that struck me was when she quoted Habakkuk 3:17-19 from the bible:
17Though the fig tree does not blossom and there is no fruit on the vines, [though] the product of the olive fails and the fields yield no food, though the flock is cut off from the fold and there are no cattle in the stalls,
    18Yet I will rejoice in the Lord; I will exult in the [victorious] God of my salvation!(E)
    19The Lord God is my Strength, my personal bravery, and my invincible army; He makes my feet like hinds' feet and will make me to walk [not to stand still in terror, but to walk] and make [spiritual] progress upon my high places [of trouble, suffering, or responsibility]! For the Chief Musician; with my stringed instruments.

She shared in layman's term :  "Though I lose my job and grocery prices are going through the roof, though my son is so hard to control that I feel like I'm gonna go crazy, though I can't get my husband out of the lounge chair and TV or though I can't get my wife to clean the house ... YET I WILL REJOICE!"

It was a great encouragement to me and the best medication before all of us went to bed.

Yes...all the problems we will face and I have to learn that no matter what, I want to learn to rejoice in the Lord and God the Lord is my strength.

I leave the song here for you to be encouraged:  MY PEACE



Wednesday, September 01, 2010

CAN'T SLEEP

It's happening again.  For 2 straight nights Jonathan just couldn't sleep well.  Even if he does go to sleep, he will wake up and start calling me.  by the time he gets the proper deep sleep it would already 3.30am.

I'm hoping that today, since he didn't take his nap that he will sleep well tonight.