WHILE THERE ... AT THE FUNERAL WAKE ...

The only time I could say goodbye to PG was at her funeral wake on Wednesday night.

I'm glad I went.

While on the way there, I told the Lord that if there was a time when friends are asked to share about PG, I would go up and give my eulogy.

And I did.  I wanted her family and friends to know how much she has helped me.  I thank God that I could share my thoughts.

While there, I found out something that happened many years ago ... something that I didn't know about until now.  About what PG felt when she gave me a gift for Jonathan before he was born and it had something to do with guilt. If I had known this I would tell PG : "It is NOT your fault."

While there, Jo reminded about the time I joined the bank's karaoke singing contest and after winning, PG said she wanted me to sing at her funeral.  I remembered that conversation.  I forgot about it after all these years.

While there, I was glad that Jo encouraged me to sing for PG.  When Jo and I stood side by side, at the head of PG's casket, and I sang "I WILL ALWAYS LOVE YOU", the song I had sung for the contest and won.  If I hadn't done it, like I initially was hesitant to do, I would have regretted it.  Thank you Jo.

While there, I was told that PG mentioned about me to her niece quite a few times.  I wish I could know what her thoughts were.  Not to feed my self-esteem.  But would like to know how she felt.

While there, I wish I had more courage to make calls to PG instead of just sending her Christmas cards each year before she passed on.  And when her name popped up 2 weeks ago while I was preparing Jonathan's food, it totally slipped my mind.  So many chances and yet I missed them all :(

But most of all ...

While there, I found out what a remarkable and religious person she had become.  Touching peoples' lives and working at the church.

Then I realised, I have no regrets knowing who PG was and is and was.

I shared that she celebrated life.  Yes she did.  Even before she went Home, she was still her bubbly self.

She didn't want wreaths .. she didn't want donations.  She didn't want to burden everybody.

That's how she was and will always remain that true person in everyone's hearts, including mine.

I wanted to attend her memorial services this evening.  I even was ready to sing a song there.

On Thursday night, I was tuning into Youtube for Jonathan and was thinking about what I could give if I attended PG's memorial service and this song came on - WHAT A FRIEND WE HAVE IN JESUS.

Then I wrote part of these words in tribute to PG:

What a friend I have in PG

There's none like her any where

What a privilege to know her

She's some one who really cares

This was only the first verse.  I didn't finish the song.  I couldn't go for the memorial service because of urgent matters.

But ...

Thank you PG .. for teaching me self endurance, to look at life in a different perspective.  That there's always a rainbow at the end of every clouded sky.

IN MEMORY OF GOH POH GEOK

I got to know PG (as she is affectionately known) 13 years ago when she joined the bank I was working in.  We became friends because our bosses worked closely together.

When Jonathan was born, she was there to help me for the first year.  She helped me with hospital bills and also bought an apnea machine for Jonathan because of his breathing problems.  I still have the tiny machine at home.

After I left the bank to become a full time caregiver, she went on to work and a few years later also left the bank.

We didn't keep in touch with each other.  But every year during Christmas, I always make a point to send her my home-made Christmas or Chinese New Year cards, sending my wishes and thanking her for all her help.

We never spoke or met up.  The only one time I called her within these 13 years was a short phone call to ask how she was doing but it was cut short because she had to attend to her grand nieces/nephews that she was caring for.

Yesterday, I got an email from another friend that she passed away 2 days ago.  It came as a shock.

PG was a gusty lady.  A person who was ready to extend a helping hand any time.  I find solace to know that she started attending church and even volunteering her services there.


For over 13 years, she pops up in my mind every now and then.  I never picked up the phone to give her a call but to give a silent thought and prayer.  2 weeks ago, her name came up as I was preparing Jonathan's milk.  I told myself I should call her but regretfully, because I was so busy then, it totally slipped my mind.

People say to me that if anyone suddenly comes to your mind ... you should just call or visit.  But sadly, I missed that chance.

I wish I could have attended a gathering they had a few years back.  But again, I wasn't able to because of Jonathan.

Now ... I will see PG again.  But this will be my final goodbye.

"Thank you, again, PG.  For the help you gave me during the first year of my life as a full-time caregiver.  I will never forget that.  I will remember the lunches we had with each other, of you telling me you love to eat vegetarian bee hoon but yet dislike the fact that they have too much MSG in them.  I remember the time you took my place at the desk so that I could join the company's instant karaoke contest, winning $800.

I remember you ... as a fun loving person who extends your help but yet want to remain as low key as possible.

I will never have the change to send you my Christmas cards again.  But you will always remain in my memory.

And most of all, I thank God for allowing me to get to know you.

Rest in peace PG"

IDEAL WEIGHT

As of 21 September 2010, Jonathan weighed 23kg and 126cm tall.

My appointment with his dietitian at KK, Ms KY (who still remembers my name even tho we haven't seen her for the last 2 years) went well.

I'm glad that after his illness on 17 August, which saw Jonathan's weight dropping to 21kg, that he could put back 2kg with the Isomil Advance EyeQ Plus within a month.

Chatting with Ms KY gave me the assurance that he was on track although through the chart, his ideal weight should be 25kg.  His height is ok.  Growth has to be between 90-100% and Jonathan has achieved 91% under the CP growth.

So for now, she advised to stick to Isomil for 6 months just to give his tummy some rest.   Thankfully, he's been able to consume soy milk without problem.  Moreover, my also a little hesitant to switch him back to the goat milk (thus the reason why I want to sell off the balance of my stock HERE).  Staying on soy milk helps that if he does fall ill again, there's no need to switch powder.

A friend recommended Isocal.  Ms KY said it's actually a mixture of cow and soy milk but processed in such a way that is gluten and lactose free.  But it's 1cal/ml which will be too heavy for Jonathan.  And it's hard to find in local supermarkets.  But we may consider this in future when Jonathan's older and needs more protein.

So for now, the feeding regime is 6.5 scoops of soy milk powder to 240ml water to make it 300ml for the next 3 days.  When he's accustomed to the new amount, we increase it to 7 scoops till he reaches 25kg.

Thank you Lord for protecting Jonathan.  Now, I can safely give him milk feeds even if he doesn't feel well.

CHILDREN'S DAY GIFTS COMPLETED

The children's day gifts for my sister is complete.  PTL!!  This is a reload of my earlier POST.

These names (above) were cut with the Pazzles Cutting Machine.  I used glossy colored cardstock bought from a local paper shop.

Names pasted onto the color pencil boxes.

This evening I used all the ribbons that I have and completed all 25 boxes:

I'm happy to finish these :)

SELLING KARIHOME WHOLE GOAT MILK

I'm selling away 20 cans of my current stock of Karihome Whole Goat Milk Powder (400g tin) as Jonathan is unable to take them at the moment.

Selling price:  $17 (UP $19)
Expiry date:  2012
Cash or bank transfer before collection. Sorry ... no delivery.
Please EMAIL me if anyone wants to buy.  Thanks!

CHILDREN'S DAY GIFTS

From a tiny box of color pencils

I helped my sister transform it into something simple for her kids in kindergarten:

This is just a sample.  The color of ribbon and name varies.
Dimensions:  98mm(H)x42mm(W)x20mm(D)

The name was cut from cardstock using the Pazzles Cutting Machine.  You can order from me too { and not necessary for Children's Day only :) }.  Just EMAIL me.

WHAT'S BEEN HAPPENIN'?

Jonathan has been quite good lately.  Perhaps the news of transferring to home management program made him happy and less stress.  He's been sleeping well, except for 2 nights ago when he woke up at 3am after I changed his diaper and didn't go back to sleep till 7.30am!

but ... he's been talking alot, been up to his tricks lately.

He's also been pulling his feeding button (I think I mentioned this before somewhere) more regularly just to get our attention.

But today, he did something that totally surprised me ...

He was at it again and I warned him about the consequences of pulling his button.  Then when I turned to look at him, he immediately pulled down his shirt to cover up the "cap-is-opened" feeding button.  It was really an instant reaction on his part.  haha.  Well...I tried not to grin cos I was supposed to be the angry person.

Lately he's also been helping me "take" things that are within his reach for me.

Two nights ago, he did just that.  I changed him into his PJ's and his shirt was lying somewhere else.  He reached for it on his own.  He turned his body ... moved his butt ... twisted his arm ... got his navigation right and all the while refusing help from me when I asked.  Finally after about 5 minutes, he grabbed the shirt, turned his body and handed it to me.

Thank you sweet darling Jonathan.  You are getting better with your hands.  I think you may be ready for a new assignment soon.  We'll see :)

And ... thank you Jesus :))))