STRENGTH

Today we didn't go school. Jon slept late again last night and I wasn't feeling well.

It is raining....so just as well we didn't go.

Made Jon do his standing exercise today. Preparing him took about 10 minutes. First put on socks, then put on the plastic leg splints, put on shoes, then put on the knee gaiter (that wraps around his legs so he won't buckle or bent). Let him stand while watching wheel of fortune for another 15 minutes, with me holding on to him.

It takes a lot of effort for Jon to just stand without full support. Now, he's lying down on the mat and looks really tired. Me, I'm tired just holding him. Back a little sore. He's alredy 18.9kg and growing. Don't know how it will be when he gets older. I don't really want to think about it.

How long is this going to go on? I'm not sure. The only thing I know is to trust God for his strength. His grace to endure and to move on.

I've started to worship God again after so long. Singing his worship songs helps to relieve stress. Most of the time I'm distracted by so many things that at the end of the day I can't wait for Jon to fall asleep so that I can have time for H and myself...and spend time on my own.

Tomorrow going to the niche for my dad's death anniversary. He's been living in God's great mansion for almost 3 years. I'm sure he's enjoying himself there. I can imagine him playing his gu zheng, chinese drums and worship God with them. Mom and I talked about him last week and I'm sure she misses him alot.

So do I....sometimes I wish I could have spent more time with him to get advice from him. But most of the time, his presence was all that I needed when he was around. He had this awe that just being there with him, you feel secure. Now....I cherish my time with mom, even if just talking on the phone.

Two nights ago, I was singing YOU ARE MY ALL IN ALL.

You are the strength when I am weak
You are the treasure that I seek
You are my all in all

When I fall down you pick me up
When I am dry you fill my cup
You are my all in all

I draw strength that God is all present in our lives. He gave us earthly parents to help us in the present being and HE helps us abundantly in the spiritual realm.

I will continue to draw strength from my heavenly Father...Abba...Daddy...

Psalm 46:1 "God is our refuge and strength, A very present help in trouble."