Monday, October 25, 2010


How does one celebrate birthdays?

As you grow older, celebrations with friends and family take a back seat.  What's important is that you have your own closest family with you.  In my case, Harith and Jonathan.

19 October, I received wishes, blessings and greetings from loved ones, family members and friends.  Thank you all for remembering.

I turned 44.

On that day, besides needing to go town to collect my printing materials, we decided to bring Jonathan to town.

This is what I had to pick up:  Flex and printed order for Jonathan's school Scouts Camp

To make these flags:

The weather was cool, albeit slight drizzle that changed to rain, we were able to accomplish my errand and took a walk at City Hall basement shopping/food area because Jonathan liked it there.

After we picked up my stuff, we went to the Royal Hotel Queens for where we know we will probably be the only ones there having their really simple and cheap buffet lunch.  The food wasn't that great, although they had bitter guord cooked with tofu (which is one of my favourites).  But the place was good for us.  No staring eyes on Jonathan, just us, peaceful and quiet, taking our time to savour the simple meal.

See...we had the whole restaurant to ourselves :)

After our meal, we walked across to the National Library to give Jonathan his lunch then proceeded to City Hall.

Since we were there, I spent some time at Paper Market (local scrapbook store).  Wanted to get some Christmas papers anyway and bought these:

I got 25% off for buying 20 sheets of Christmas pattern papers (any brands)

Got 30% off for any 2 Christmas accents or die cuts or other elements.

I'm happy with my purchases.  Not starting to make cards yet.  Been busy.

Then 2 days ago, I decided that I was going to treat myself by printing a shirt for me!  LOL!
Actually, I also wanted to try the new orange flex on a dark shirt.

So my birthday came and went and everything was back to routine.  But I'm glad we could bring Jonathan to town without him fall sick.  Thank you Jesus :)

Sunday, October 24, 2010


Tonight, at 11pm, Jonathan bled at the mouth after I brushed his teeth.

I thought he had bitten his lip again.  But the blood continued to flow.

So armed with a small torch light, I proceeded to check his mouth and found that his tooth was loose (the same one that I mentioned HERE).  It was shaky to the touch and his gum was sore and reddish.

Jonathan kept pushing it with his tongue.  I asked if he wanted it out and he said yes.

So i proceeded to pull the tooth out.  While doing that, my hand was trembling. I have no guts when it comes to this.  His two front tooth were removed by the school nurse and I was so afraid to hurt him.

With him sitting on Harith's lap was also another concern for me because he is not secure.

The tooth was stuck.  I couldn't and didn't want to yank it out fearing pain.  So I stopped and asked Jonathan if he was hurting.  He said no and still wanted the tooth out.

So after a quick prayer, I pushed it outwards and the tooth came off together with free flow of blood.  I took gauze and ran to the kitchen for an ice cube.

Seconds later, the blood stopped flowing and minutes later, he told me it doesn't hurt.

I'm glad the tooth came out before he went to sleep.  I was eying the same tooth a couple of days ago wondering when it was gonna come out.

Well, at least it's not bothering him anymore.

Thank God Jonathan has high threshold of pain.  He was braver than me ... that's for sure! haha

Sunday, October 17, 2010


The only time I could say goodbye to PG was at her funeral wake on Wednesday night.

I'm glad I went.

While on the way there, I told the Lord that if there was a time when friends are asked to share about PG, I would go up and give my eulogy.

And I did.  I wanted her family and friends to know how much she has helped me.  I thank God that I could share my thoughts.

While there, I found out something that happened many years ago ... something that I didn't know about until now.  About what PG felt when she gave me a gift for Jonathan before he was born and it had something to do with guilt. If I had known this I would tell PG : "It is NOT your fault."

While there, Jo reminded about the time I joined the bank's karaoke singing contest and after winning, PG said she wanted me to sing at her funeral.  I remembered that conversation.  I forgot about it after all these years.

While there, I was glad that Jo encouraged me to sing for PG.  When Jo and I stood side by side, at the head of PG's casket, and I sang "I WILL ALWAYS LOVE YOU", the song I had sung for the contest and won.  If I hadn't done it, like I initially was hesitant to do, I would have regretted it.  Thank you Jo.

While there, I was told that PG mentioned about me to her niece quite a few times.  I wish I could know what her thoughts were.  Not to feed my self-esteem.  But would like to know how she felt.

While there, I wish I had more courage to make calls to PG instead of just sending her Christmas cards each year before she passed on.  And when her name popped up 2 weeks ago while I was preparing Jonathan's food, it totally slipped my mind.  So many chances and yet I missed them all :(

But most of all ...

While there, I found out what a remarkable and religious person she had become.  Touching peoples' lives and working at the church.

Then I realised, I have no regrets knowing who PG was and is and was.

I shared that she celebrated life.  Yes she did.  Even before she went Home, she was still her bubbly self.

She didn't want wreaths .. she didn't want donations.  She didn't want to burden everybody.

That's how she was and will always remain that true person in everyone's hearts, including mine.

I wanted to attend her memorial services this evening.  I even was ready to sing a song there.

On Thursday night, I was tuning into Youtube for Jonathan and was thinking about what I could give if I attended PG's memorial service and this song came on - WHAT A FRIEND WE HAVE IN JESUS.

Then I wrote part of these words in tribute to PG:

What a friend I have in PG
There's none like her any where
What a privilege to know her
She's some one who really cares

This was only the first verse.  I didn't finish the song.  I couldn't go for the memorial service because of urgent matters.

But ...

Thank you PG .. for teaching me self endurance, to look at life in a different perspective.  That there's always a rainbow at the end of every clouded sky.

Wednesday, October 13, 2010


I got to know PG (as she is affectionately known) 13 years ago when she joined the bank I was working in.  We became friends because our bosses worked closely together.

When Jonathan was born, she was there to help me for the first year.  She helped me with hospital bills and also bought an apnea machine for Jonathan because of his breathing problems.  I still have the tiny machine at home.

After I left the bank to become a full time caregiver, she went on to work and a few years later also left the bank.

We didn't keep in touch with each other.  But every year during Christmas, I always make a point to send her my home-made Christmas or Chinese New Year cards, sending my wishes and thanking her for all her help.

We never spoke or met up.  The only one time I called her within these 13 years was a short phone call to ask how she was doing but it was cut short because she had to attend to her grand nieces/nephews that she was caring for.

Yesterday, I got an email from another friend that she passed away 2 days ago.  It came as a shock.

PG was a gusty lady.  A person who was ready to extend a helping hand any time.  I find solace to know that she started attending church and even volunteering her services there.

For over 13 years, she pops up in my mind every now and then.  I never picked up the phone to give her a call but to give a silent thought and prayer.  2 weeks ago, her name came up as I was preparing Jonathan's milk.  I told myself I should call her but regretfully, because I was so busy then, it totally slipped my mind.

People say to me that if anyone suddenly comes to your mind ... you should just call or visit.  But sadly, I missed that chance.

I wish I could have attended a gathering they had a few years back.  But again, I wasn't able to because of Jonathan.

Now ... I will see PG again.  But this will be my final goodbye.

"Thank you, again, PG.  For the help you gave me during the first year of my life as a full-time caregiver.  I will never forget that.  I will remember the lunches we had with each other, of you telling me you love to eat vegetarian bee hoon but yet dislike the fact that they have too much MSG in them.  I remember the time you took my place at the desk so that I could join the company's instant karaoke contest, winning $800.

I remember you ... as a fun loving person who extends your help but yet want to remain as low key as possible.

I will never have the change to send you my Christmas cards again.  But you will always remain in my memory.

And most of all, I thank God for allowing me to get to know you.

Rest in peace PG"