Everyday, I have been reminded of the promises from God about Jonathan. I do look forward to the recovery but sometimes I'm just too impatient that I lose patience with Jonathan when our communication breaks down. Then that's where I start complaining to the Lord.
This year, Jonathan would be taking his O levels. I always, how should I say, "fantasized" about what it would be like if he didn't have the aphyxia episode 16 years ago.
- He would be a very intelligent boy. Excelling in his studies and getting good grades. I know...even now, he's shown us his intelligence in his special way. I would be worried about his work, how he would do and whether he should go to any of the junior colleges or the polytechnics and what university courses he will take.
- He would be very articulate. He just goes on and on when he has the mood to "chit chat". I look forward to the day when we can hold conversations and sing together. I would love to know his thoughts, how he feels about issues, what his needs are and so much more! And sometimes with him oohing and aahing in falsetto (like head voice) when he listens to worship music, I would believe he would be a great singer and accompany me in singing to the Lord.
- He would be able to play violin so beautifully just like his daddy. His daddy's dream was to train him into a classical musician. A dream that was dashed so long ago. He would excel in his music and maybe embark on a music career that his daddy wasn't able to do so. Just a few days ago, while cleaning his hands with a towel, H casually said "your fingers are so long and beautiful. They were made for playing musical instruments for the Lord." That brought tears to my eyes. The sadness of seeing H unable to fulfill his long desire of teaching his children how to play the violin really broke my heart.
- He would be a runner. His daddy loves to jog and so he will follow his daddy on their daily exercise. And with that, perhaps I would do that too and get my trim body. LOL. But this would have to wait.
I'm believing that one day, what "HE WOULD BE" will become "HE IS" and the Lord knows my heart. He knows I pine and yearn for the day to come and I will continue to cling onto and confess the promises that His word will not return to him void.
"So shall my word be that proceedeth from my mouth: it shall not return to me void, but it shall accomplish that which I please, and it shall prosper in the thing for which I sent it."
God bless everyone!