WHILE THERE ... AT THE FUNERAL WAKE ...

The only time I could say goodbye to PG was at her funeral wake on Wednesday night.

I'm glad I went.

While on the way there, I told the Lord that if there was a time when friends are asked to share about PG, I would go up and give my eulogy.

And I did.  I wanted her family and friends to know how much she has helped me.  I thank God that I could share my thoughts.

While there, I found out something that happened many years ago ... something that I didn't know about until now.  About what PG felt when she gave me a gift for Jonathan before he was born and it had something to do with guilt. If I had known this I would tell PG : "It is NOT your fault."

While there, Jo reminded about the time I joined the bank's karaoke singing contest and after winning, PG said she wanted me to sing at her funeral.  I remembered that conversation.  I forgot about it after all these years.

While there, I was glad that Jo encouraged me to sing for PG.  When Jo and I stood side by side, at the head of PG's casket, and I sang "I WILL ALWAYS LOVE YOU", the song I had sung for the contest and won.  If I hadn't done it, like I initially was hesitant to do, I would have regretted it.  Thank you Jo.

While there, I was told that PG mentioned about me to her niece quite a few times.  I wish I could know what her thoughts were.  Not to feed my self-esteem.  But would like to know how she felt.

While there, I wish I had more courage to make calls to PG instead of just sending her Christmas cards each year before she passed on.  And when her name popped up 2 weeks ago while I was preparing Jonathan's food, it totally slipped my mind.  So many chances and yet I missed them all :(

But most of all ...

While there, I found out what a remarkable and religious person she had become.  Touching peoples' lives and working at the church.

Then I realised, I have no regrets knowing who PG was and is and was.

I shared that she celebrated life.  Yes she did.  Even before she went Home, she was still her bubbly self.

She didn't want wreaths .. she didn't want donations.  She didn't want to burden everybody.

That's how she was and will always remain that true person in everyone's hearts, including mine.

I wanted to attend her memorial services this evening.  I even was ready to sing a song there.

On Thursday night, I was tuning into Youtube for Jonathan and was thinking about what I could give if I attended PG's memorial service and this song came on - WHAT A FRIEND WE HAVE IN JESUS.

Then I wrote part of these words in tribute to PG:

What a friend I have in PG

There's none like her any where

What a privilege to know her

She's some one who really cares

This was only the first verse.  I didn't finish the song.  I couldn't go for the memorial service because of urgent matters.

But ...

Thank you PG .. for teaching me self endurance, to look at life in a different perspective.  That there's always a rainbow at the end of every clouded sky.