That's when you really need God's strength and grace, especially when the medication gives you heart palpitation and side effects and it makes you really edgy.
And especially when your child wakes up in the middle of the night just when the medication sets in and you just can't open your eyes.
I was irritated. I was upset. Upset that I had fallen sick. Coughing away and letting Jonathan get it.
Just when I thought he was better, his nose was blocked tonight. Woke up at 4am, fidgetted so much trying to go back to sleep, kept asking me to carry him upright. I started speaking louder than a whisper and of course that woke Jonathan up even more.
He just couldn't go back to sleep. I wanted to give him some milk but he refused; only to relax a little later when I was less edgy and agreed to be fed. Told me that he'll go back to sleep after his feed.
Changed his diaper after that, i decided to turn on the computer to get my mind off things earlier. He was able to relax more and started making gentle conversation with me.
A few seconds later, his eyes closed and he fell asleep. I can still hear him trying to breath through his nose. But he's just adjusted his position and has now returned to sleep.
It's 5.12am. Raining outside and I'm coughing again. Decided to take the cough mixture. Although I can't fall asleep now, I'm sure the medicine will kick in soon and I'll be feeling drowsy.
But for now, I'm entertaining myself on youtube, watching the American Game Show "Family Feud".
"Lord, I thank you for grace and strength, especially when it comes to the affairs of Jonathan. Patience is most needed and when things get out of hand, please take FULL CONTROL of it for me. Because when You are here, please remind me Jonathan is innocent in all these and I'll be able to calm down. Thank you Lord."