I'VE MADE MY FINAL DECISION

Had a call from him again yesterday. This time he praised the 2 people who were with me. That was the final hint, or rather, confirmation about my decision to quit.

You see...we have been embroiled in a "sage" for quite a while. Got myself involved, got myself worried and got myself anxious about everything. At the same time, felt very lowly about certain issues. Got calls from him, got calls from the victims, got calls from all over. So...when you receive so many calls, who do you listen to? I got played - this is how I felt....but not by the innocent 2 who were with me.

Worst is that I went along with the play. Got myself into trouble a couple of times. My fault - didn't listen to God's prompting.

Now that it's over, I have to move on. But somehow I felt that if a person has no qualification, does that mean that the person cannot deal with issues at hand? I suppose we who don't have high education see things differently. Maybe we can call ourselves streetsmart or "disability-smart"...haha. I mean...when you don't have a high education, does that mean you can't be wise to solve things? I got this vibes when I talk to C a couple of times and I felt very foolish after talking to him. Perhaps I was being too sensitive.

I didn't like it but I suppose I dug my own grave...

So last night, with a heavy heart, I told God that I don't feel good. It hurt and it didn't have to in the first place. Then when I opened the bible, a passage from Acts 9:36 struck me.

"Now in Joppa there was a disciple named Tabitha (which translated in Greek is called Dorcas); this woman was abounding with deeds of kindness and charity which she continually did."

Well...she died and those whom she helped called Peter to pray for her and she rose from the dead and continued her ministry. They loved her for helping them, making clothes for them. I don't think she was a highly qualified woman. I believe she did this from her heart, with God's love embroidered in the items she gave to the widows and needy.

I cried after reading this passage. There was some kind of relief.

I finally decided that I can do this without a title. I can do this even though I'm not highly educated. I can continue to help, spread love, encourage those who need them the most, even without being in a committee. So long as God sees it, and use it to His glory.

BUT I'M NOT BLAMING ALL DEGREE HOLDERS OR ANYONE WITH HIGH QUALIFICATIONS. I'M NOT LOOKING DOWN AT THEM. THEY ARE GREAT PEOPLE WHO HAVE DIFFERENT PASSIONS IN LIFE. THIS IS MY EPISODE AND I JUST HAD TO WRITE IT DOWN TO GET IF OFF MY HEART.

So I'm going to set myself free from all these. After my last assignment in the committee, that's where i will fly. Be free to do whatever I think is necessary, help whenever I'm needed...but more wise in my decision.

One important lesson I learned throughout the whole "saga".....
SILENCE IS GOLDEN. BUT GOD'S PROMPTING AND WISDOM ARE MORE IMPORTANT.