I'VE MADE THE DECISION

Yup...I made the decision tonight.  I've decided to take Jonathan out of school and try the home management program.

I spoke to him this evening.  Asked if it was ok if he stopped school and the was "yes".

It was the 2nd hardest decision I had to make.  The first when we had to decide to let him have the feeding button.

Like I wrote to my friends in facebook ... I hope this decision will be a correct one.

I actually wanted to cancel tomorrow's meeting with the teacher.  Ever since I received the letter from the school Principal, my heart has been heavy.  I just felt that the letter (albeit the first paragraph about being of any assistance) could have been sent after the meeting and not before.  I guess the place for another student was top priority.  My initial idea was to sign the form and return it back.  But I still had questions I needed to ask.

I didn't have the peace to take Jonathan out of school.  Neither did I have the peace to bring him back.  I've tried (maybe not hard enough) to bring him back.  But it has been difficult.  So I decided to take the road less stress and I pray that God will give me the peace and strength to start something that's more constructive for Jonathan.

And maybe when he's more ready and I sort out his health issue (that has been bugging me for the last couple of years), I will register him for school again.

I've been tearing because somehow I feel that I've given up something for Jonathan that might benefit him.  But his health outweighs that.

And maybe after tomorrow's meeting I will feel better.  And bringing him out for walks at the beach or mall during school days will no longer be guilt trips :)

In the meantime, he's currently a chair and mat potato with the TV and YouTube.  And his answer to my question:

"Will you still be intelligent and smart even if you don't go to school?"

was "Yes."